Those who are know what I am talking about may be interested to know that the Hacker's Diet now has an online version of EatWatch - http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/online/hdo.html

I am quite cross with things. I am trying t both type and moude left-handed due to convincing RSI-like pains across the back of my right hand. This also means no knitting this weekend. Arse. I have had this before but not for such a long time and persisting after a few days of little computer. Double arse.

Also a bad clod coming on, probably caught from my 1st Aid instructor. Also PMT. And my knee aches from going up and done in !st Aid practice.

That's a lot of arse.

I may be offline for a bit. Have fun.

Today I shall be mostly feeling shit because I still have a horrible chesty cough after over a week (over two weeks since the cold started.) And I'm not even sure I will be well enough to go to Gigantor. I shall probably go anyway, but it would be unwise to stay out late or drink much. A couple of hours in a smoky pub last night made me feel much worse, which is not a good sign :-(

And in spite of feeling crap I still have to do loads of stuff in my house, like put all the clean clothes away that are making my room effectively a quarter of its useful size, and shower, and make soup for next week so all the good healthy veg I bought doesn't go to waste, and knit like a bastard since everyone wants stuff off me, which is great, but there's only so much crap TV a rabbit can watch...

I hate the LJ holiday banner, BTW - what about you?

So I need hugs. Or not actually hugs but some other vurtual token of my LJ chums affaction, like virtual cocktails of dubious ingredients, virtual cuddly toys with strange hats or maybe a very small dinosaur. Go on - make stuff up to entertain me, you know you want to...

Also a way to cook yam would be helpful, since I stupidly bought one...

I am going to attempt to update a little more often, since, among other reasons, it will help me with my CBT (get your minds out of the gutter over there!) I feel I owe you lot some updates anyway, but be warned some of these could (if I even manage to do it) end up as lists of good/bad things or similar. So to liven things up there will be an opportunity for questions at the end of this post.

Meanwhile - ( good/bad things )

I'm trying to do that healthy eating thing again/some more. Recently I've been particularly impressed by the concept of Superfoods. There are apparently 14 foods, which are particularly good for you, most of which have alternatives or 'sidekicks'. There's a book based on this but I don't feel any need to actually buy it. The list is below, with sidekicks in brackets. This adds up to a healthy diet, basically, but these are some foods with even more of the good stuff than most. And I like nearly all of them.

So given how much/badly my diet can affect me I'm trying to do this, as a spur to eating really healthily most of the time (so I can eat unhealthily every so often.)

Superfood
• Beans
• Blueberries (purple grapes, cranberries, raspberries, strawberries, currants,
blackberries & cherries)
• Broccoli (kale, cauliflower, brussel sprouts)
• Oats (wheatgerm, flaxseed)
• Oranges (grapefruit, tangerine, lemon etc)
• Pumpkin (carrots, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, and orange bell peppers)
• Salmon (Alaskan Halibut, albacore tuna, sardines)
• Soy
• Spinach (bok choy, romaine lettuce, collards,)
• Tea -- green or black
• Tomatoes (red watermelon,pink grapefruit)
• Turkey (chicken breasts)
• Walnuts (almonds, pecans, pistachios, cashews,)
• Yogurt (keifer)

Some people add olive oil to the list, although it's not in the book, probably because you don't want to overdo it...

So this weekend I had such stuff as blueberry porridge, a wonderful dish made of tofu, brocolli, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, olive oil, garlic, coriander, lime juice, ginger and chilli, ostrich steaks with tomatoes, red onion, leek and mushrooms, much pink grapefruit juice, a caesar salad, lemon olives, and, er, a cone full of fried dough from the French Market, which doesn't count.

Also I made spinach and parsnip soup for lunches this week - I figure I can make all my lunch soups with at least one superfood and at the moment the freezer contains spinach and parsnip, brocolli and potato and roasted tomato. Today I ate an orange fruit and some red bush tea which I hope counts cos I don't like regular tea, and am having spinach soup with a wholewheat roll for lunch and chickpea and aubergine stew with tomatoes and rice for tea.

Oh, and I seem to have lost a little more weight. I want to keep going with this, but more than anything I want something sustainable which allows me to treat myself at the weekend otherwise I will go mad.

So, thoughts? Does this seem like a good idea? Is it cranky? Am I boring you? Do tell.

Well broccoli and almond wasn't 100% successful - I think it needs proper home made vegetable stock to work properly, which I may not have time for. I'm borrowing a copy of the Covent Garden soup book, though, so more cooking should be forthcoming.

My work have been very understanding about the depression, and I'm going to be working flexible hours until the side effects wear off. They're also looking into getting me a lightbox for the SAD, which would rock.

I have tinnitus, which is driving me batty. Can anyone who happens to have a Really Big Book of Drugs look up whether that is a known side effect of trazadone?

Bah! Snow fell briefly and then stopped. Although perhaps given other people's woes with the stuff I shouldn't be risking wishing for it. I still feel shit. Word is being crap on me. And I can't go home for another hour and a half. Unfair!

This weekend I'd like to get some people along to Digital (I know I keep saying this), and go to the gym (I keep saying that as well). I also have a matter of hours to decide whether to join my gym at their January rate of £175. I think I will. I know it's £175 out of my account right now, but it's unprecedentedly cheap for a year's gym - assuming I ever go, of course.

I've was tempted to do an end of year summary or one of those 5 things I learned ones. And then I started trying to do it, and it said things like "I've learnt I can't operate normally without medication", and other cheerful little thoughts, so I thought let's not actually. Not that I feel utterly shit, because I don't, but looking back is seeming to have that effect on me at the moment, which is why I've been doing fewer LJ entries, too, I suppose.

When I look at it rationally things have improved this year, but it's less than I (greedily?) would have wanted. Less of a pay rise, less weight loss, fewer things sorted out generally. On the other hand I'm not getting killer depression, anxiety or insomnia now, which has got to be a win. Sigh. Blah.

Still I now have giant boots. Giant Boots! *Does the giant boot dance*. And loads of extra hair that I've got to turn into something cool, and stuff.

God I am so fucking virtuous! Yesterday me and Paul went in the gym and had an induction session where we did a bit of cycling and rowing and a few very light weights. They were dead friendly and I had fun - to my great surprise. So today I went back. The differences between yesterday and today's session were these:-

1. I went on my own because Paul was going out for lunch and I wasn't scared
   
2. I walked there in my trousers because I wasn't too embarrassed and I couldn't be arsed carrying a bag
   
3. I didn't have any gym personnel to help me so I just got stuck in
   
4. I did an hour and fifteen minutes solid cardio vascular exercise, counting from the clocks on the various machines. This compares to about forty minutes yesterday
   
5. I burnt off five hundred and ten calories in that time compared to about 200 yesterday*
   
6. I feel great - I think I could get used to this. Eek!
   

Oh and today I also did washing up and washed some clothes and cleaned the bathroom. I think the Prozac is starting to really work. Hurrah!

*Yes, I know it's a bit sad to measure it in calories - so sue me.

I feel like mince. On toast. The problem is that eating mince on toast, or even icecream, feels like razorblades in my throat. I can't talk much, either, which is a real hardship. It's hurting me to answer my own phone. Oh woe is me. And forced to quote U2 lyrics cos nothing else fits the bill (how many sore throat lyrics do *you* know?). The pain is too much.

I may do some useful things like make notes for the BiCon report tonight. It would certainly save me from trying to converse. I'm really hoping I'll be well enough to go out at the weekend, but it's not looking hopeful right now. Meanwhile work is being like work, but every time I start to get a bit stressed I remind myself that BiCon is in the past and everything looks a lot more chill. Now I really need to get my holidays sorted so I can look forward to chilling properly...