This Map of where no-one should live in the US has got me thinking about a long standing debating point with me - where to live when I win the lottery so as to assure a bearable old age. So for you Friday conversational topic, as set by Me - where is the world would you not live, and why? And is there, anywhere you'd suggest that is relatively free of/immune to inevitable natural disasters, global warming, oppressive regimes, killer creatures and diseases and violent rednecks?

[1] The latest threat to civilisation as we know it

What sorts of food are really cheap? And are any of them healthy? I'm not a fan of baked beans, though I'd be interested in any way of making them edible, nor cabbage, but I'm trying to be open minded. I can't get to Asda unless I get offered a lift, but Tescos is perfectly possible. Recipes for using cheap ingredients would also be great...

I want to cancel my Barclaycard since I never use it and I want to streamline my finances. But since I last contacted them the barclaycard phoneline has gone all automated and demands a security number which I do not have before it lets you in. Does anyone know how I can contact a human being and cancell my card for ever? I don't owe any money on it so they never write to me, and I tried emailing them from their web pages but didn't get any kind of reply...

Update: Success! Thank you Giles!

My computer has 256 MB NonECC 333MHz DDR Memory in one unit. It wants more. Which parts of that description do I need to match to get it and where can I get the most memory for it most cheaply?

Gratuitous Icon Post

An invisible prize goes to the first person to identify it.

I need a new hard drive because I filled this one with tunes. Is it OK to get one from the Silicon Centre or Maplin or should I order online. How much will I get for my money these days, and is there any difference between different kinds? (see how ignorant I am...)

How large are downloaded TV shows, as a rough guideline? How much space do I actually need? (Apart from all of it.)

The new flat rocks, although naturally I have immediately discovered the mode in which it can be noisy - it whistles and rattles in high winds.

And now I am going to beg for help again. We have to go back to Laputa this weekend and clean for two days solid if we want our deposit back. I understand that not many people want to do other people's cleaning (more's the pity), but we could some help with other stuff, like filling holes we've left in the walls, painting Sandy's old room white, and taking some things away, either for yourself or by walking them to The Forest Cafe up the road. We have got:

• A working microwave
  
• A large blackboard
  
• Two pine stools
  
• And a bunch of wood from Ivar shelving

That we badly need to get rid of...

Thanks to everyone who was so nice to me when I pathetically begged for it. It does actually make a difference, in spite of my mother's belief that fished for compliment don't count. She's a miserable sod, anyway, and has no place living in my head.

Anyway I feel a lot better. I slept twelve hours after that post and have since got quite a lot done. It's stunning, though, how much intensive work it is getting rid of furniture etc in a sensible way. If I was wicked and lazy I could get Edinburgh Council to take the lot to the dump, but having a slew of emails about every bloody thing and then people failing to turn up etc, is probably more responsible, if tiresome. This is not meant of a criticism of anyone who actually has taken away stuff, by the way, it's not your fault it's just that these things take organising... And Edinburgh Furniture Initiative are almost impossible to get hold of, so I think the tumble drier will end up getting dumped anyway.

And if anyone out there uses Ivar shelving from Ikea, we will probably have some spare bits and bobs, but not enough to make a whole unit. (Polite) suggestions on how to get rid of it would be welcome. It's their most popular and flexible sort of shelving, and the extra parts to make it a whole unit would be very cheap, so it seems a shame to waste it...

I am feeling a lot better today and have done a few of my Things To Do - including updating and uploading my for sale page. Have a look and let me know if there's anything you want - I really need to clear some of this stuff out before I move. And feel free to make an offer if you can't afford stuff or think it's too expensive - I'm very flexible...

Other things that I have available for free or beer include:

A fan heater
An ioniser
A 1400W hairdryer
A folding keyboard and charger for a V series Palm
A set of powered computer speakers
And a box of spare computer bits that I must look at Real Soon Now...

Because I am moving flat I have to think of a whole lot of things. the most important, naturally, is Internet access. Currently I use ADSL through Andrews & Arnold, who are very good. However the new flat can get Telewest, and for the same price I get Broadband and my BT line now, I could get broadband, phone and TV (the broadband will be 750k instead of IMb, but I think that's OK, I don't download movies)

So. Telewest allegedly provide 30Mb of personal web space and 5 "blueyonder personalised email accounts", but I don't know how to transfer by existing domain name and web pages to this, if it can be done. Also does anyone know if Telewest can cope with more than one domain name, as Sandy wants one for his business. the flyingisland name has about eight months to run, and I'm sure A&A will cooperate, but I want to do this right.

Secondly, I want to connect two computers to the internet - do I need a server[1]? I have a router and a lot of ethernet cable, but no spare machine (or at least not one I'm prepared to leave on all the time. Both our machines will be running XP (with ZoneAlarm etc etc) if that makes a difference.

Any advice/offers of help?

[1] Clarification: I don't want either of us to have to leave the machine in our room on all the time. With ADSL the modem/router dealt with this, but I don't think you can get a cable modem that does. Can you? Or could I buy a Wireless solution?