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purplerabbits at 12:10pm on 19/01/2018
purplerabbits at 12:10pm on 19/01/2018We apologise for the late arrival of this report which is due to a staff shortage and the cat not doing her fair share.The report will be broken down by department and writing in the first person plural to make it look like we are adequately staffed.
Cabinet Office
We are happy to report that the office does not require any new cabinets, however neither Midnight the cat nor stumpy the squiggle have made any progress on their action plans, and the Chair is deeply disappointed in them.
Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy
This department is mostly focussed on getting the damn heating to work as it is literally freezing out there and the boiler is refusing to respond to the thermostat. An engineer has been called but no clear date has been set for fixing the problem, which has not yet been adequately identified. Meanwhile we are deploying emergency electric heater measures and swearing a lot.
Department for Digital, Culture, Media
We are pleased to report the success of our midwinter strategy which was to sign up to Sky Cinema for one month only, and can confirm that the films repeat themselves well before the end of that time. We are now acceptably caught up on movies our fiends have seen with the exception of the Star Wars franchise which we are unclear if we want to bother with. We would be happy to repeat this strategy next year. We are, however keeping Netflix.
Also under the remit of this department we not that at least the fucking internet is still on so maybe we could try blogging more often this year.
Department for Education
WeI have signed up for another beginners class in BSL which starts next week. This is unfortunately not the Wednesday morning one near the flat, which was cancelled due to lack of uptake, but a Thursday evening one an annoying distance away. This is another beginner course, but we are confident it will offer substantial learning opportunities.
Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
The garden is doing pretty well considering the hard frosts we've had, and the birds and squiggles seem happy with the food provided, although the squiggles did mistake the crocus bulbs for food put there specially for them, so there will be few if any crocus flowers in spring. Food provision in the flat is also adequate, although the heating problem has made it harder to prepare decent meals as the kitchen is the coldest room in the flat.
Department for Exiting the European Union
This department is still in denial, so no change there.
Department for International Development
We continue to tithe 10% of our income to Giving What We Can, which currently means their top recommended charity AMF which funds and tracks insecticide-treated mosquito nets in Sub-Saharan Africa.
Department for International Trade
There is no international trade.
Department for Transport
We are currently in the process of complaining to Virgin Trains about our most recent journey. All other transport matters are fine, as we are in possession of a bus pass and adequate taxi money.
Department for Work and Pensions
Department for Exiting the European Union
This department is still in denial, so no change there.
Department for International Development
We continue to tithe 10% of our income to Giving What We Can, which currently means their top recommended charity AMF which funds and tracks insecticide-treated mosquito nets in Sub-Saharan Africa.
Department for International Trade
There is no international trade.
Department for Transport
We are currently in the process of complaining to Virgin Trains about our most recent journey. All other transport matters are fine, as we are in possession of a bus pass and adequate taxi money.
Department for Work and Pensions
Voluntary work at Shelter continues, and it is possible there will be more opportunities at the Equality Network in due course. Neither of these pays, but benefits from the UK DWP are still coming in. The traditional New Year letter about the ludicrously low value of our ex-work pension has arrived and duly been filed in the 'fuck this' pile. We have been providing employment for a cleaner once a week, but we are also looking to provide work for another person to make up for the afore-stated staff shortage. Watch out here and on Facebook for a PA advert shortly.
Department of Health and Social Care
Our health is stable within the usual parameters, though the knee has been extra sore in the cold. We will shortly be attending a long awaited therapy group, which may provide some improvement, or at least dredge up a lot of nastiness, which is almost the same, right? Social care has been lacking due to the staff shortage, but see above re recruitment.
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
We have some plans to go abroad to Berlin again this year, if the Less Wrong conventions happens again. If not, or if resources allow, we would like to visit another European country while we still can...
The Treasury
The Treasury has some money and the accounts are up to date. Hurrah!
Home Office
The home office is still in the bedroom, however we have successfully assembled a new Ikea chair which looks very lush.
Department of Health and Social Care
Our health is stable within the usual parameters, though the knee has been extra sore in the cold. We will shortly be attending a long awaited therapy group, which may provide some improvement, or at least dredge up a lot of nastiness, which is almost the same, right? Social care has been lacking due to the staff shortage, but see above re recruitment.
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
We have some plans to go abroad to Berlin again this year, if the Less Wrong conventions happens again. If not, or if resources allow, we would like to visit another European country while we still can...
The Treasury
The Treasury has some money and the accounts are up to date. Hurrah!
Home Office
The home office is still in the bedroom, however we have successfully assembled a new Ikea chair which looks very lush.
cold
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